Alna, Maine Telegraph Newswire Story;
A group of investors, led by local businessman Joe Schlabotnic has announced the opening of a new guest house in the Town of Alna. The establishment is to be constructed along side of the narrow gauge railway. Amenities will include a wide porch for watching trains, a parlor for writing puns, large closets for storing photographic equipment and a sound proof room for singing, yodeling and playing the kazoo.
Fine food will be offered to the guests. Mr. Schlabotnic states that he has hired the Sweedish Chef from the Muppet Show to prepare the finest quizine. The Stardust Lounge will have top of the line beverages on tap. Among them Whale Tail Pale Ale, Black Label, Old Moose Drool, Rolling Rock and Old Card Table (who's motto is "Two shots and your legs fold under you")
The Inn house farmacy will dispense Ben Gay, Geritol, Vitalis, and horse linament. The investors have noted that room rates will be a reasonable $30 a day per railfan however an additional $50 will be charged if you bring a troll.
The guest house will be known as the Curmudge Inn. Advance reservations are recommended.
AP - Alna Propaganda
